Description
Help your child cultivate real, lasting confidence! In Kid Confidence, a licensed clinical psychologist and parenting expert offers practical, evidence-based parenting strategies to help kids foster satisfying relationships, develop competence, and make choices that fit who they are and want to become.
As parents, it’s heartbreaking to hear children say negative things about themselves. But as children grow older and begin thinking about the world in more complex ways, they also become more self-critical. Alarmingly, studies show that self-esteem, for many children, takes a sharp drop starting around age eight, and this decline continues into the early teen years. So, how can you turn the tide on this upsetting trend and help your child build genuine self-esteem?
With this guide, you’ll learn that self-esteem isn’t about telling kids they’re “special.” It’s about helping them embrace the freedom that comes with a quiet ego—a way of being in the world that isn’t preoccupied with self-judgment, and instead embraces a compassionate view of oneself and others that allows for both present awareness and personal growth. When kids are less focused on evaluating and comparing themselves with others, they are freer to empathize with others, embrace learning, and connect with the values that are bigger than themselves.
You’ll also discover how your child’s fundamental needs for connection, competence, and choice are essential for real self-esteem. Connection involves building meaningful and satisfying relationships that create a sense of belonging. Competence means building tangible skills. And choice is about being able to make decisions, figure out what matters, and choose to act in ways that are consistent with personal values. When children are able to fulfill these three basic needs, the question of “Am I good enough?” is less likely to come up.
If your child is suffering from low self-esteem, you need a nuanced parenting approach. Let this book guide you as you help your child create unshakeable confidence and lasting well-being.
M (verified owner) –
All parents want to provide for their child and protect them. As an educational leader for over twenty years, I believe Eileen Kennedy Moore has it right in helping parents understand that the best gift they can give their child is life experiences where they build determination, resilience, and humility. From these hard-won mindset ‘muscles’ comes true self-esteem. Kid Confidence: Help Your Child Make Friends, Build Resilience, and Develop Real Self-Esteem provides not only a scientific and field-tested information to help us understand this truth but also practical tools for parents as they raise their child to be the confident, determined adult they are meant to be.
There are no shortcuts to becoming a confident, determined adult. Self-esteem isn’t something parents can give to a child through praise or propping up in school, sports, the arts, or friendships. As Eileen Kennedy Moore points out in Kid Confidence: Help Your Child Make Friends, Build Resilience, and Develop Real Self-Esteem, and those of us with years of experience in education know empirically and from research, the real gift parents can provide that leads to self-esteem is time and space to live through their own experiences so self-reliance, grit, and confidence blossom naturally. Kuddos to Dr. Kennedy Moore for explaining this truth so clearly and passionately and providing the practical tools for parents to wean themselves from ineffective and often damaging interventions in hopes of building self-esteem.
Every generation of parents has its own unique challenges. Current parenting norms, described by the often-heard phrases of ‘helicopter or drone parenting,’ include best intentions gone awry through meddling with a child’s ability to build her own self-esteem. As Eileen Kennedy Moore articulates in Kid Confidence: Help Your Child Make Friends, Build Resilience, and Develop Real Self-Esteem, the true gift a parent can give is the opportunity for their child to gain the life experiences, skinned knees and bruised egos included, that authentically develop inner confidence and resilience. Dr. Kennedy Moore provides practical advice on how parents can positively impact self-esteem.
Andrea (verified owner) –
I love this book! My teen has had low self-esteem since he was little. I never thought about how much of it is related to how he puts so much of the focus on himself–in everything–until I read this book! All of the advice parents learned in the 80s and 90s to pump up your kids at every turn (i.e., trophies for everyone)–doesn’t work. What does work is getting kids to turn the focus from themselves to other things that I learned from this book. One of my favorite lines is that real self-esteem is, “Letting go of the question ‘Am I good enough?'” That’s groundbreaking advice right there. Also, like all of her other books, Dr. Kennedy-Moore includes a ton of spot-on research to back up her practical advice that any parent can use for a child struggling with low self-esteem. It makes me feel good when I follow that advice that so much thought went into a book like this–I couldn’t find anything like this before and I’m a stickler for research in parenting/nonfiction books. While I read the book in its entirety, I also love that it’s broken up into easy-to-follow chapters that you can use as a constant reference. I’ve already gone back to parts to re-read and used the advice since I read it the first time. As I mentioned before, I really do love this book!
LPC Express (verified owner) –
I’m so impressed with “Kid Confidence” for so many reasons. For one, the author provides a “big-picture” look at confidence by describing the 3 Cs of confidence–competence, connection, and choice. Also, she includes numerous examples of typical problems faced by kids with low self-esteem and offers various examples and scripts for how to help. I only wish that this book had existed when I was an elementary school counselor many years ago. Not only would I have given it to every parent, I would have used it myself instead of falling into typical traps that don’t work with kids. But I have a grandchild, so it’s not too late to put these principles into practice! I would also like to mention how authoritative this book is, informed by both research and practice. Just an excellent book all around–and easy to read and digest, too.
Anonymous (verified owner) –
Eileen Kennedy Moore has written an enjoyable book on a complex, sometimes dry, topic. “Kid Confidence” helps parents understand the foundation for helping children develop healthy self esteem (connection, competence, and choice). She then illustrates how to apply these building blocks to complicated situations that often arise (such as jealousy, quitting too easily, indecision, bullying). Her suggestions are founded on scientific research and her writing is lightened with a gentle tone and a bit of humor. I highly recommend this book!
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. (verified owner) –
Pumping up your kid’s self-esteem by repeatedly telling him how “amazing” he is may have been a good idea decades ago when kids were handled harshly and self-esteem was not considered important. But in today’s world, parents need to help their kids develop AUTHENTIC self-esteem. This is NOT accomplished with constant over-the-top praise. It is accomplished by helping kids learn the skills to deal well with setbacks, squabbles at home, squabbles with friends, feeling left out, feeling inadequate, giving up easily and more.
The many nuggets of wisdom you’ll receive from reading Dr. Kennedy-Moore’s latest book will delight you! I recommend it to any parent wanting to raise a child who will grow up to be a confident, compassionate and cherished human being.
Lisa Judd (verified owner) –
Great book just wish I had this year ago
Rebekah Kelly (verified owner) –
Very informational book for parents or those who work with children.
karen tombacher (verified owner) –
This book is helping me help my sixteen year old granddaughter with questions she’s asking me about her need to understand what’s happening to her during this confusing time of life. I’m so proud she asks so many questions and it’s Eileen Kennedy-Moore’s book “Kid Confidence” that is providing me solid options for sincere answers. I don’t want my granddaughter to think, “sure, she’s my baba, no wonder she thinks I’m terrific”. Dr Kennedy-Moore provides a practical guide and one that seems to be satisfying this young granddaughter. As evidence, she keeps coming back with more questions. So I keep reading and thinking through ways to support her.
Her mom and dad received this as a gift from me and it’s one of the best gifts I could give them with two teenagers.
Page 114 is exactly what they’ve seen their one of their daughters do a couple years ago when she was being overly perfectionist and frustrated . Imagine having answers on how to handle this difficult situation at the time.
My son’s daughter is 4 years old. He and his wife deserve their own copy as it can be read now for some cute answers to why she loves herself so much but they’ll also be ready for what’s yet to come!
It’s a bible on childrearing. Wish I had this when raising my two children but I have it now to help them with theirs!
Karen Tombacher
Paine Whitney (verified owner) –
This information packed book presents material in an easy-to-understand way and was so full of tips, I had to get a pack of page stickies to mark as a I went along–and that was just in the first few chapters. Excellent resource. Thank you!
Kellie Brock (verified owner) –
Easy read, useful parenting tips and senerios that you can apply with your children. Helping with my twin boys and choosing my words more wisely to help build them up. And have them build confidence independently as well
Michael (verified owner) –
great
Monique (verified owner) –
Good read so far.
MW Moyer (verified owner) –
I LOVE THIS BOOK. As I’m sure is true for many, I have never quite understood what “self-esteem” means, and I’ve certainly never known how to foster it in my kids. This book clearly explains the concept of self-esteem and provides dozens of approaches (some of them surprising) that help parents engage with kids and respond to challenging situations in a thoughtful, nurturing way. From how you discipline, to how you manage sibling rivalry, to how you can instill in your children a lifelong love of learning, this book is full of wonderful, actionable advice that I know will make me a better parent and help my kids thrive.
Ashley (verified owner) –
I haven’t completed the book but for as far as I’ve gotten, it’s pretty good.
A V (verified owner) –
Very insightful. I am already using some of the techniques I learned in this book and I think they work!
Yi Peng (verified owner) –
Great book
WEMsicaldaze (verified owner) –
Information, observations and recommendations are backed by research from creditable case studies, personal and a clinician professional experiences. Various scenarios considered so that there is always a topic relative to your personal reason for reading the book. Also provides scripts for dialog. Helped me learn about myself as well. I highly recommend to any parent.
me (verified owner) –
Absolutely loved this book
Smary5 (verified owner) –
Very nice useful book with lots of practical advice and tips. Very relevant for anyone with kids
Anna (verified owner) –
I have been purchasing a lot of parenting books. This one has been great! It has really good information/ideas and truly wants makes you want to change and implement new behaviors/ideas. I highly recommend for anyone who’s child is lacking confidence or you just would like to improve your own skills as a person/parent.
Wellness Blogger (verified owner) –
I read many of Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore’s books and am a fan of her practical and effective strategies. This one is particularly helpful because it gives nuanced advice about how to help children build confidence. She provides useful research and focuses on helping kids grow beyond self-focus by targeting three areas: connection, competence, and choice. I started applying her tips with my own kids and they really work! There are so many important insights in this book that I know I’ll keep coming back to it!
Mel Q. (verified owner) –
My 8 year old son struggles from OCD and anxiety, due to a post-infectious autoimmune reaction to a virus. Basically, a crash course in parenting a child with OCD. This book has helped us not only build THEIR confidence, but understand from their perspective that we play a huge role in their confidence to overcome these challenges. This book was recommended by a friend and I too, highly recommend.
Laura Mason (verified owner) –
Recommend to all parents. Especially when kiddo is going through low self esteem stages and even before.