Description
From a Harvard faculty member and oral language specialist, an invaluable guide that gives readers evidence-based tools and techniques to communicate more effectively with children in ways that let them foster relationships with less conflict and more joy and kindness.
Science has shown that the best way to help our kids become independent, confident, kind, empathetic, and happy is by talking with them. Yet, so often, parents, educators, and caregivers have trouble communicating with kids. Conversations can feel trivial or strained—or worse, are marked by constant conflict.
In The Art of Talking with Children, Rebecca Rolland, a Harvard faculty member, speech pathologist, and mother, arms adults with practical tools to help them have productive and meaningful conversations with children of all ages—whether it’s engaging an obstinate toddler or getting the most monosyllabic adolescent to open up.
The Art of Talking with Children shows us how quality communication—or rich talk—can help us build the skills and capacities children need to thrive.
C. Saver (verified owner) –
I was fortunate to get an advanced reader copy of this informative and important book about how to help kids discuss and recognize their emotions, which in turn helps them show more empathy. Rich Talk blends science and strategy in an easy to understand and conversational way that will ensure our kids feel seen and heard. I loved that this book is for parents of kids of all ages. As a mom with a teenager, it was especially helpful to learn new ways to teach both ourselves and our kids to truly engage and be present in a world full of distractions. When we connect on a deeper level with our kids, we are teaching them to connect on a deeper level with others. Rolland’s Rich Talk uses the ABC method which includes being Adaptive, participating in Back and Forth, and using Child Driven Principles. This book should be on every parent’s TBR list.
The Booklife (verified owner) –
This book found me at exactly the right time. My eight year old has tons of questions about everything– and I’ve become so specialized in literature and marketing, that anything outside of those spheres (What is 5 x 26? How do crystals grow?) feels tough to answer without Google or a calculator, which makes me feel stupid and ashamed. Rolland’s encouragement of conversation for conversation’s sake comforted me, as did the research on how talking about “not knowing” things is as important as knowing things. Reading this book also made me grateful– oddly enough– for the far slower pace of life this last two years when, because of the pandemic and homeschooling, I’ve really gotten to spend tons of quality time with my little girl. This book is well written, informative and charming– and will appeal to fans of Lori Gottlieb and Susan Orlean.
LLL (verified owner) –
I am ALWAYS up for a science-based parenting book. Rebecca Rolland’s is a gem, and highly readable to boot. Along with the research, there are plenty of anecdotes from her own practice as well as actionable conversation tips for parents. Parents will come away inspired to implement her advice! As Rolland so capably demonstrates, conversations are such an essential aspect of how we relate with our kids — nurturing these skills has powerful implications. (And PS this book is not just for parents of younger children — Rolland offers specific advice for parents of middle- and high-school-age kids too.)
jamie Gehring (verified owner) –
I read this book at the exact right moment in time! I am a busy mother of three. With a sixteen-year-old, 12, and six-year-old, communication feels overwhelming. I am exhausted at the end of the day and the differences in age between my children is an additional challenge.
I loved the case studies and the easy-to-apply “prompts.” After all of these years of parenting, I felt this was just the refresher I needed.
Debi Lewis (verified owner) –
What an important book for parents of young children! Rolland, a speech pathologist, really breaks down the deeper ways that children understand their world through language. Including case studies and tons of specific prompts, she offers parents practical ways of drawing out their children’s thoughts and ideas. I can’t help but imagine (and happily anticipate!) the critically-thinking adults that will come out of the families that embrace this way of communicating
Sara E. Hosey (verified owner) –
SO helpful for developing a connection with your children through “rich talk.”
LM (verified owner) –
This book is an invaluable resource for parents raising kids of all ages. The author is both an oral language specialist (so she knows the importance and reach of language!) and a parent herself (so she knows that sometimes conversation gets lost in all the to-do of our everyday lives). What I appreciated most in this mix of family anecdotes and concrete tools to improve our communication, is the compassion the author brings. This book leaves the reader feeling that more and better communication is not only possible, but very achievable, despite our busy, complicated lives.
J. Keisner (verified owner) –
The Art of Talking with Children is going to be a lifeboat for many parents–parents like me, the mother of strong-willed daughters (11 and 4yo). Rolland offers helpful advice, insights, and examples of how to have meaningful, productive conversations with your children (as opposed to talking AT them or falling into conversational ruts). I found the “Child Driven Principles” discussion especially insightful.
Stephanie (verified owner) –
Sometimes we worry so much about what we do for our children, and what they’re doing in school and outside–this book reminded me that we parent and love just as much through conversation. But are our conversations meaningful? Rebecca Rolland is a great companion in this quest, an expert who talks like a friend, who shares strategies for developing rich talk. This book feels especially important today, when developing empathy and resilience–and capacity for joy!–is ever more urgent.
v.b. (verified owner) –
Rebecca is a gifted writer and has created a resource for all parents, and those present in the lives of young ones. Thank you!
Matthew Bird (verified owner) –
The Art of Talking with Children not only unpacks aspects that might seem obvious and help build conversations with children, but most importantly it helps us adults open up and be aware when we talk with children, not as experts but as a human being engaged in a genuine conversation with another human being trying to figure things out. That is a powerful shift.
Many times us adults complain about children not talking to us, but it is precisely because our conversations are limited to check-in questions or instructions. Great conversations are done by talking and listening and they take time. This book reminds us that children can come up with all the topics where deeper and rich conversations can happen. It also unpacks areas where conversation impacts child development and how it impacts their lives. Rolland combines strategy, with stories and relatable examples. I highly recommend this book for adults in general!
Fr Goumy (verified owner) –
In the Art of Talking with Children, Rebecca Rolland shows the reader, in a fascinating way, why purposeful conversations with kids are so important–and how we can have more of them. I loved reading about her stories of kids from her work in schools, hospitals, and her own parenting, as well as her analysis of the education system’s flaws.
I laughed throughout, since the tone is humorous and positive, and Rebecca constantly uses a fun and accessible tone. But at the same time, I learned so much. Even as a retired teacher, mother of two and grandmother of four, I was amazed to read of so many strategies to use back-and-forth conversations as a powerful tool to help kids grow, stretch and expand. These strategies are ones I plan to use in my own life as a grandparent, and which I plan to tell my friends with kids or grandkids about. I am a big believer in the “Rich Talk” approach, and I wish I had used its principles in my career and in our family. If you have kids in your life, or if you teach them, I highly recommend this book!
John Westwood (verified owner) –
Rebecca’s thoughtful, accessible writing and depth of knowledge make this book an indispensable reference for navigating the sometimes challenging landscape of conversations with children. My only complaint is that I wish it had been published when my now-teenaged kids were younger! That said, Rebecca’s insightful observations and recommendations are as relevant for my children today as they would have been a decade ago. This book reminded me of how important it is to make the most of every interaction with my kids, and to take advantage of opportunities to use everyday experiences to impart lasting lessons.
liora (verified owner) –
As a pediatric dentist I was definitely trained and able to understand the need for good communication . I am able to differentiate between the timing and the accurate techniques among the ones I have to help achieve my goal: acquire cooperation and trust from the child to perform the necessary treatment. But I am also a mother of three and in my “private world” my training was not always as applicable because of the emotional factor and fast pace of our everyday life.
This is where “The Art of Talking with Children” makes a lot of sense: it helps catching and recognizing those little moments and opportunities to help your child become the best of himself and not just leading them to do what we think is best for them.With simple examples Rebecca Roland gives you hints how to navigate and take advantage of these everyday situations to built curious and compassionate adults thanks to the “right talk at the right moment”.
Karen Winn (verified owner) –
Part memoir, part guidebook, THE ART OF TALKING WITH CHILDREN is an accessible book for parents (and educators) to communicate more effectively and freely with children. You can read through all at once or choose specific chapters that speak to your needs. Peppered with anecdotes and thoroughly grounded in research, Rebecca Rolland expertly relied on her years of experience as a speech pathologist and Harvard educator, as well as being a mother to two children. An educational and entertaining read that you will find yourself returning to through the years!
JFKelley (verified owner) –
The Art of Talking with Children should be the book you buy for parents of young children. It’s an easy read that’s filled with concrete ideas for helping a child “stretch” and grow through back-and-forth conversations. We are out of the habit of prioritizing talk these days, and we all miss it. Rolland’s book is a welcome guide for bringing those playful, rich and surprising moments into kitchens again – the kind of talk that connects and bonds and satisfies, and helps children build all kinds of skills, too.
Shane DeBlasio (verified owner) –
This book is so helpful for both my parenting and teaching!
Federico Berruto (verified owner) –
A practical and useful guide to sharpen our skills towards a deeper, more engaged and higher quality conversation with our children.
Tara W (verified owner) –
Everyone who interacts with young kids should read this book! Written by a Harvard speech pathologist, The Art of Talking with Children shows us how to support better communication and skill-building in children by focusing on the quality of our conversations with them. As a clinician, researcher, and mother, Professor Rebecca Rolland shares poignant stories from her parenting and clinical work along with the latest research in psychology, neuroscience, and linguistics. I found the book highly accessible, with valuable tips and memorable takeaways. The book comprises seven essential pillars of skill-building: learning, empathy, confidence, social skills, creativity, openness to others, and temperament. After reading this book and working through some examples, I’m much more confident and knowledgeable about how to communicate with my young nieces and nephews. I discovered ways I can strengthen their capacity for kindness and creativity. Supporting young children is an urgent need in our society – and this is an important book that shows you how to do it! Thank you for writing it!
Zoe Lima (verified owner) –
It’s hard to know how to talk to your kids. How do you elicit more than an OK when you ask about their day? How do you connect about real things rather than the minutiae of living. In this insightful text, Rolland parses these questions, interspersed with a personal narrative about her own struggles which help this book hit home. This offers a clear concise way to communicate with children, and leaves the reader feeling enriched and motivated to do so.
L. Sellge (verified owner) –
What I love about Rebecca Rolland’s book, The Art of Talking With Children, is the deep respect she shows for even the youngest children as human beings with immense potential. She recognizes communication as an immediate tool for growth and support that we as parents and adults can employ to help them accept themselves as they are: members of a society full of joy and frustration that their brains will respond to in a myriad of confusing ways.
Being a parent or teacher can be frustrating. What is obvious to us, what we take for granted, is a blank canvas in the mind of a young child. That is both exciting and terrifying. What I wanted most for my children in the earliest part of life was self-acceptance, both the flaws and the highlights, so that interactions with others were less influential / impactful on their psyches. I wish I had had this book 20 years ago when I was in the thick of it. To understand them, to support them, we ourselves need to be vulnerable and genuine in the way we talk about ourselves so they can do the same. Thanks for a wonderful text on childhood communication.
Cathryn V (verified owner) –
I listened to this book on Audible during my daily walks. I have five grandchildren and need suggestions for ways to converse with them. Many days I thought I should have brought a little notebook to jot down the pearls from this book. The narrator’s voice was pleasant and even though the book is long, it kept my interest. The only negative for me was the many references to studies (which would be important for academia). I highly recommend this book for anyone with children in their life.
Atlas (verified owner) –
If you are tired of hearing about the “growth mindset” and not knowing what to do with that advice, The Art of Talking with Children is the book for you. Rolland takes Dweck’s theory (that we have all heard too much about) and brings it into practice and explains how to use it with your kids. A useful and interesting addition for parents.
DrGina (verified owner) –
The Art of Talking with Children should be required reading for anyone who works with children, has children or wants to understand how to talk with children. Her research-driven approach, and personal stories, demonstrate what it means to truly connect with another through conversation. I loved her method for rich conversations: Expand (“Tell me more about that…) Explore (“What do you think is going on here?”) and Evaluate (“What other ideas are we missing here? What haven’t we considered?”). Rich conversations help us learn more about ourselves and each other. They foster creativity, bonding, and better problem-solving. Yet they are very rare. I highly recommend this brilliant and compassionate book to anyone who yearns for deeper conversations and true understanding. Those who nurture children will find it an invaluable work.
Michelle Lee (verified owner) –
This has great insight on how to talk with children. If you work with kids there are some great tips and I’ve seen the magic work firsthand.
Alyssa Rasmussen (verified owner) –
Dr Rolland is incredibly insightful, explains the reasoning behind all of her points with depth, and doesn’t shy away from ‘difficult’ topics.